The Pain Behind Hidden
Disabilities
But you don’t look disabled.
But I am disabled.
But you are so smart.
Disabled doesn’t mean dumb.
But you are so pretty.
Disabled doesn’t mean ugly.
But you dress so nice.
Disabled doesn’t mean a lack of
fashion sense.
But you are so articulate.
Disabled doesn’t mean I can’t
speak.
But if you only tried harder, you
could fit in.
Disabled doesn’t mean fitting in.
But…don’t you want to fit in?
Managing unwritten rules.
Understanding that when a person
smiles and says they like you, they may cut you down behind your back.
Understanding that if a person
says, “How are you today?” They really
mean, hello and walk on by.
Knowing that no matter how hard
you try, someone will find fault, which generally stems from having Asperger’s
Syndrome or Attention Deficit Disorders.
“Looking” normal, so the NT’s
will feel more comfortable around you.
I like the ‘written rules’
If
a young child or an older person smiles, it is usually genuine.
When
someone really takes the time to know and accept me, I can trust the rules.
They
mean what they say and they are kind and consistent.
I
know what is expected of me, and what I am expected to do.
Don’t
give me ambiguous expectations, and then find fault.
Don’t
be inconsistent in affect i.e., today you smile, tomorrow you yell, the next
day you ignore, and the next you smile.
High anxiety
Self-loathing
or recriminations
Depression
Defeatist
attitude
Emotional
defeat and poor self-esteem
Michelle,
you are great at giving presentations, it is just working with others that is
the problem.
No,
the problem is working with others who bully or condescend.
The
problem is others have jealousy over our accomplishments and distain for our
inabilities.
Working
with people who are kind and tolerant, is never our problem.
You ask me to “act” more
normal in social situations, and say if I just tried harder I might be more
normal…
Would you ask a
person in a wheel chair, to please it at the table in a “real” chair, so they
might seem more normal?