You know you might be on our team if….
1) You have had to use behavior modification on yourself to make it through doctoral courses. I will not talk for 20 minutes…watch the clock, watch the clock, watch the clock….
No wonder I never learned anything in a classroom!
2) You have ever asked a boss if his mother raised him to be a jerk, or if he managed to figure it out on his own?
And I didn't get fired! He, however, didn't clarify for me.
3) You have ever asked a professor, in class, "Did you ever work a real job, or did your mommy and daddy pay for your education?" In class, with all of the students staring.
In my defense, this was undergraduate, not graduate class! I had not thought of the behavior modification technique until graduate school! I had to become a psychologist first, so THEY could teach me the techniques!
I did not fail the course.
His response, "I, I, I worked in the summertime."
Ah ha!
4) You have ever said to your boss, "I would love to stay, but I'm bored,"
in a meeting with seventeen other psychologists, after being asked to stay.
Oops.
She was the greatest boss I ever had!
Oh, and I didn't get fired.
5) You have ever wandered about the office, humming different Christmas carols at each section, in order to hear a chorus of mismatched songs….in July.
"No, Airman Fattig, you may not hum in the lab."
"No, Airman Fattig, you may not sing in the lab."
"But I wasn't humming!"
"No Airman Fattig, you may not whistle in the lab."
"But I wasn't humming!"
"No, Airman Fattig, you may not…"
You get the picture.
6) You have ever asked your Technical Sergeant if they have a medical degree, which in fact WOULD qualify them to question or discuss a medical waiver provided by an orthopedic surgeon, DURING a leadership course, which would determine your military future.
7) You have ever given a presentation to 60 administrators on the reauthorization of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act without a problem or concern, but practically get hives at the idea of one-on-one conversation, or (shudder the thought), going out to lunch with other people.
8) You have read A Prairie Day with Annie, and were able to understand and follow the story!
"I'm not THAT bad am I?" -Students with ADHD
"I want to read the one you wrote about me again." -Students with Asperger's Syndrome
9) You have ever suffered with 'flashbacks' to every misstep, goof up, social blunder, faux pas, criticism, or painful experience, but can't seem to recall praise, successes, or recognition. OR, if you have EXTREME difficulty accepting or believing compliments, even when you KNOW you actually did well at something!
For any Neurotypicals (NT's) out there, address us with praise from the side, make it quick, and WALK AWAY!
10) You have ever found yourself crawling out of your skin when someone stands too close when they talk to you, or you have to have a hand in front of your face during a conversation, and making eye contact is almost physically painful! However, when it is a topic of interest or perseveration, you have TOO much eye contact and tend to dominate the conversation.
Welcome to the team~
For REAL information about Asperger's and Attention Deficit Disorder CHADD.org and OASIS are wonderful resources.
Michelle highly recommends the books Delivered From Distraction and Pretending To Be Normal
